Bumper Sticker Wednesday

Oh, I forgot this...

Virgin America gate staff announcement - "the aircraft is fully functional". Well, that's reassuring for all those flying to Las Vegas.....

Social networking? Bollocks...

WTF is the fascination with sharing every detail of your mundane existence with the world?

I don't really care if you have just had a crap, nearly got run down (shame they missed) or that the waitress doesn't have a clue.
Bet when she goes out to eat she isn't alone...

Why share it with all the other sad losers on your 'follower/following' list? Oh, maybe because they have no real friends?....

The growth of these 'micro-blogging' sites like Twatter and Shitter and Jerku and Dunce amazes me. Some of these saddos have multiple accounts on every network. I expect they have accounts on MyBook and Facespace. If there was a network called TwatsOnline they'd probably join that too.

Then there are the real divas who post live streaming video of their daily drudgery online for the whole world to sit and gawp at.

Please turn off your cameras, phones, laptops and get a life....

After The Haggis...

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts tae stir an enormous wind

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert workin like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'bodys gonna have tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
Its like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae reek.

But aww yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me a sonic boom

God almighty it fairley reeks
Hope I huvnae shat ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Aww whit the hell, its no ma worry.

A'body roon aboot me chokin
Wan or two are nearly bokin
Ill feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile

Wis him! I shout with accusin glower
Alas too late, he's just keeled ower
Ya durty buggar they shout and stare
Ah dinnae feel welcome anymair

Where e're ye go let yer wind gan' free
Sounds like just the job fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbies perty
Oower the sake o' wan wee ferty.


Anon

Reply From a Haggis

O' (your name) man, ye addressed me weel,
Which so befits a hielan' chiel,
And tho' like you I'm far frae hame,
I sure achieved my share of fame.

I never thocht I'd see the day,
I'd grace a trencher doon this way,
In the brawest club in your toon,
Tho' mony a mile frae bonny Doon.

Once fit for only rustic table,
I now enjoy a five star label,
No longer classed as peasant grub
For now I grace the (your name) table.

I'm sometimes scorned by snobbish folks,
And the butt of corny jokes,
Such folks and jokes are unco phony,
Now I'm acclaimed by Egon Ronay.

The Power who made mankind her care,
Set me above all other fare,
For Scotland's sake I'll keep this place,
An' aye be Chieftain of the pudden' race.

So to all you Braw Scots lads & lassies
That here tonight I see,
Uphold auld Scotias good fair name,
And from me - "Bon Appetite"


J.G.Farrell.

It's Burns Night...

Address to a Haggis...

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!


Happy birthday Rabbie...

More Bobbies on the beat...

For once the Labour government are telling the truth when they state that there are more police officers on the streets now, than there were when they came into power in 1997.






There are. In fact there are 18,500 22,500 of them protesting today at their pay, or lack of it...

Bumper Sticker Wednesday

Last night...

...in the big city. Just back from the Tonga Room at the Fairmont Hotel. Final few drinks with friends before I head home. Great evening and great company.

Each year here gets better and better - though $50+ for 3 Tequilas made us gasp. Still, it was a birthday and fun is so much more important than anything. Cheers!!!!


And hey, it was Patron...

All over for another year...

So the doors have closed on another Macworld. I'm kicking my heels in this place for another day or so and may do some sightseeing. Or I may just stick around the immediate area of my hotel. I'll see how I feel in the morning. Late nights and lots of alcohol have taken their toll a bit, so I may just chill until my flight leaves.

Meeting some friends for drinks tomorrow - a night off tonight I suppose.

Yeah...

So. New MacBook Air? Thin? Great, but what about a user replaceable battery?...

$20 for 4 apps to add to my already hacked iPod touch? I have those apps now ('cept for Stocks)...

update
Apparently it is not so hard to change the MBA battery....

Only in America...

...would you see someone wearing a kilt with pockets. WTF did you think the sporran was invented for?

Walking into my hotel, as I walked out, was some trendy 'dude' wearing what appeared to be a 'cargo kilt'. I have since found out, by the miracle of Google, that there exists "Utilikilts".

This guy even had the chunky knit socks and the boots on...

I'm in California...

Leaving on a jet plane...

...or not. First the plane springs a fuel leak, then the ground power unit dies and then the push out tug breaks down. We have to wait for a spare to be found.
So the flight is two hours late leaving and the guy in the next seat has a connection to San Diego to make. Going to be tight for him.
Still we killed time and he was impressed with the iPod touch. Maybe I can notch up another 'switcher'?


Look, I know I snore but the woman behind me keeps kicking the back of my seat every time I feel myself nodding off.
Is she kicking the back of the seat of the owners of the wailing brat over the aisle? No. So don't phuking kick my seat. You can see how air rage happens. At 35,000 ft over Greenland what can I do?
But hey, she has three seats all to herself and she is getting some sleep. No problem. Bitch.

"Baggage will be at carousel 7"....

No it won't. It will be at carousel 8...

Day ends as it began.

Hello San Franciso.

"Frat" style stunt?...

...no, make that a PRAT style stunt.

The phukwits at Gizmodo GizBozo decided it would be a hoot to disrupt all the screens at CES using some TV-B-Gone remotes that they were given by MAKE.

Well guys, hope you're proud of yourselves for what is IMO an act of sabotage.

After a rather pathetic attempt at an apology I hope GizBozo get barred from all future events...

Look after the pennies...

So Apple announced today that within six months it will lower the prices it charges for music on its UK iTunes® Store to match the already standardized pricing in the iTunes® Stores across Europe?

Within six months?

Why wait? Why not do it now? Am I naive in the belief that it is easy to change pricing within a few days?

If the price of €0.99 is the benchmark and UK prices will drop to that level, then at current exchange rates that means a difference of almost 4 pence for every song. Now I don't buy that much off the Store but if you are a regular purchaser then those 4 pence would soon mount up.

So let's hope that this price drop happens sooner rather than in 5 or 6 months time....

Bumper Sticker Wednesday

Get over it...

On a forum I visit, one bright spark is claiming they were mislead by Apple because their 8GB iPod touch only has 7.39GB.

Errr, did you even bother to read the capacity info on Apple.com?

No? Then Apple didn't "give you a story", you just failed to read...

San Francisco here I come....

Passport renewed ✔
Hotel booked ✔
Flights booked ✔
Airport parking/hotel booked ✔
Macworld pass confirmed ✔
Dollars collected ✔


To Do
Pack....

Bring it on...

Forecasts for January are predicting coldest weather for 100 years - time to wax the runners...

Recycle it...

Now, I'm a great recycler, and have been for many a year, so when I saw the Tread laptop sleeve from the guys at solio.com a couple of years ago, I thought it was a brilliant concept which not only removed old knackered tyres from the environment (and a possible breeding ground for mosquitoes) but also provided employment for local people in Colombia.

So imagine my delight at spotting one of these sleeves at a vastly reduced price - down from $100 to just $30. I jumped at the basement bargain as I will probably be picking up a MacBook Pro in a couple of weeks.

Great logic in there somewhere - get the case then get the laptop...

Zapper...

If, like me, you have several remotes scattered around the living room, you may have seen those universal remotes in stores or catalogues. They never really did much for me but One For All have brought out a new one in a 'minimalist' vein - the One For All Zapper.

Mind you, how long before the back of the sofa is full of these little devils....

Bumper Sticker Wednesday

HAPPY NEW YEAR...